Father BURNARD

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Dad & Heather – September 1974

This is my favorite picture of my Dad.  This is a rare photo of us together.  Since he was the photographer of the family,  we have very few pictures of him and especially of us together. I was his helper in the yard.  I loved being with him as a young girl before my teenage years hit.  In this picture we were probably at the end of tomato season and prepping the ground for winter. Our tomatoes always grew on the East Side of the house where the sun was the strongest.  I would water them in the summer and help weed and mulch.  They were so tasty!  My Mom would can them for the winter use, along with sharing extras with our neighbors.

My Dad was a hard worker, both at his corporate job and at our home.  In the summer he would come home, have a beer in the gold reclining chair and get some yard work done before dinner at 5:30. He would head back out after dinner to mow, stack wood, trim the grass in the sidewalk cracks (that was my job actually) and work on the car if necessary.  He was a man of all trades.  The man was a go-getter, he could do anything he set his mind to.

My favorite time with Dad was working side by side in the yard.  Just the two of us.  We really didn’t talk much but we were together.  I loved helping him make the yard look better or pick the tomatoes off the vines.  This memory has always stayed with me. Every time I cut into a ripe, red, juicy tomato I think of how we grew our own, how Dad taught me to grow tomatoes.  Something so simple as this has been the one memory that has never left me.

It’s never about what people give you in gifts, its the time we spend with each other and how they make us feel.  I felt proud to be Daddy’s helper.  I am to this day proud to call my Dad the BEST FATHER a girl could ever have.

RIGHT NOW -CANCELLED PLANS

 

I’ve had two scheduled events cancel this week, not by my choice. I am a very scheduled person but have learned through meditation that being open to change is healthier and wiser. Having a plan cancel is really a blessing in disguise. It’s a gentle way to guide me to do something that is important, at this moment, for my path ahead.

I am human though and full of ugly human emotions. So my first reaction is to get cranky and angry since I scheduled my day around that event, even confirming it!!! Soon after, I pause to remember that the higher source and Universe are watching out for me. I remind myself that it just wasn’t meant to be for some reason and it’s ok to not know why. I tell myself to look at it as an opportunity to do something else that will benefit me or just to lay around and relax.

You wonder what I did instead? I replaced my first event with fun!  I went to see my favorite song-cowriter perform, met new people and scheduled more cowriting sessions.  I replaced my second event with writing this post for my blog and start my outline for a short story. It worked out just fine and I was able to adapt.

Yep, I am in training to let go of old habits, react in a positive way and to have faith that I am being guided to stay on track even when I have cancelled plans.

HARD TO FORGET – EXBF

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This year I tried to trick myself into forgetting my ex boyfriend’s (exbf) birthday.   I took his birthday out of my phone and calendar, took his picture down but the date stayed in my head.  I actually get that sense of it coming up, like I use to when school started.  You can feel it in the air.  It’s embedded into my soul like the love that we shared.  No one could ever replace him.  No one could ever love me the way he did. Time passing by doesn’t even do the trick. So I surrender.  I surrender to the fact that he will always have a piece of my heart.  He will always be with me, even when I do find another to share my life with.  I surrender that he is hard to forget.

 

 

 

 

YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME? Here are the rules for dating, in case you forgot.

 

  1. ASK for my number, don’t FB or hit me up on social media
  2. CALL ME within 2 days of asking for my number, do not text me, this shows your level of interest either way
  3. Ask me out on a date for a WEEKEND NIGHT on a Friday or Saturday, not some opening during the week that you want to fill in, or lunch or coffee. Put some commitment into showing me you’re interested, ’cause I’m taking notes
  4. DON’T ask me to hang, I don’t have balls
  5. A date consists of DINNER and a SHOW, not a cheapskate coffee
  6. Give me a choice of two different evenings and give me the choice of what show I want to see, whether it be a chick-flick or drama
  7. Give me the choice to either have you pick me up or for me to meet you
  8. Dress nice, wear light cologne, clean your nails, shave, shine your shoes and wash your car
  9. Compliment me immediately
  10. OPEN THE DOOR throughout the night
  11. Motion for me to walk ahead when necessary, instead of you walking 6 steps ahead of me, or how about this WALK BESIDE ME
  12. Pull my CHAIR out at the restaurant
  13. Let me order first, ask how my meal is
    If my meal is missing something, flag the waitress down
  14. Ask me questions about me, don’t talk about your ex or tell me how much money you have or how much you workout….be real… I want to hear about your friends, your passion, your hometown and what makes you laugh
  15. PAY for the entire dinner yourself, don’t even think about asking me to pay the tip
  16. Ask if I still want to see the show, put my coat on, let me walk ahead of you
  17. At the show make sure I’m comfortable and ask if I want a drink
  18. At the end of the date, you should have a feel for how the evening has played out. If it was a hit, then ask for a second date, secure it, go for it
  19. At the end of the night, lean in for a hug and a kiss on the cheek if I seem receptive
  20. DON’T try asking me to come over for a drink or hang to watch Netflix, thinking I OWE you something just because you spent $60 to take me out.
  21. DON’T try to get lucky, get laid or get off on some misleading fantasy that porn has been put into your head
  22. Call me within 2 days to say you had a nice time and ask for a second date, if you’re interested in pursuing me, because the timeframe of my window being open is small before I move on
  23.  REPEAT all of the above for the second date

I want to know if you’re serious about getting to know me, I’m watching and looking to see if you’re a suitable partner.  These are basics in dating that we have lost in the last decade or more. I miss the traditional dating and I’m holding out for a good guy, a true guy that knows how to treat and court a woman. If you do it right, you might just get a piece of me. Word.

OPPORTUNITES via HOROSCOPE via FB

I had a huge change that took place in my life 3 years ago.

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I had been living with and taking care of my father with dementia for a year but had just placed him in a nursing home. I had just recovered from Lyme Disease, my income was unmentionable, all of my belongings had been in storage for 2 years and I was at a crossroads. I felt guilty for not being able to care for my father. Even so, I was hopeful as I worked hard at rebuilding my home business and musical interests. I had been journalling daily for months seeking my purpose. I just kept hitting wall after wall, so that was a clear sign that even though I was working hard, I was not quite on the right path.

 Through all of this I remember my horoscope, yes my horoscope (the Universe will speak to us in ways that we can be reached). August of 2012 my horoscope read: “you will be presented an opportunity twice, but after that it will never be presented again”. I thought this was odd but curious given my situation. What opportunity would come my way? So with that tucked away in the back of my mind, I kept myself open to opportunities.

Just two months later that opportunity came to me on FB. This person I met 14 years ago posted, “Bedroom for rent in Nashville”. I just shrugged it off since I had moved there twice before. I swore I would never think of Nashville again. It was a wound that never healed. I wrote off any irrational dreams of moving there for writing and stayed in denial. The next two days I became depressed, struggled to get out of bed and just in a fog. As I laid in bed wondering what exactly triggered this reaction, I looked at FB again and immediately the post of this roommate, a clear second opportunity, was in my newsfeed. I have to say this person’s posts NEVER showed up in newsfeed but here within 3 days it did. I also could hardly access the internet from my country home. So, with that I decided to investigate and decide yes or no.

I realized that this may be the opportunity my horoscope referred to and may never be presented again. I remained open, listened to my gut and received all the answers to my logical questions.  My intuition said, I needed to invest in my future with the little amount money I had and take a chance! I could always move back, right? So my decision was YES!

This was an unexpected opportunity that was brought to me, that I didn’t chase down.  I completly changed the path of my journey. I realized I was a free bird, a clean canvas to create my new journey on. How many people have this opportunity later in life? I was grateful.

I moved down here thinking I’d pursue songwriting but later started a novel, a blog and now screenwriting. I’m checking it all out, open to unexpected opportunities. I have never felt more fulfilled in my entire life.  I am for the first time living my purpose.

So know that opportunities will come to you. Be open. You never know where that opportunity could lead you.